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--- Jeff (6/5/2012)
 
~ The economy is so bad that...the Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

~ Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

~ I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

~ The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Q) Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A) Because they have big fingers.

~ Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

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Three vampires walk into a bar... The bartender looks at them suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "What’ll be, boys?"

The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood."

The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!"

The third vampire says "Give me plasma."

The Bartender smiles and says "Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light."

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How Smart - Is Your Right Foot? (not a joke, just fun)

While sitting, lift your right foot off the floor and make “clockwise” circles with it.

While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction! There’s nothing you can do about it.

Make sure you pass this on to your friends.

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Should children witness childbirth?

Recently, due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic was able to respond to the home of a women in labor and her little daughter.

The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3 year old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he delivered the baby.

Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.

The Mother pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom, Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again."

 
 
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